Tanner Mayes, huh? More like Tanner Mays-we-need-a-higher-SPF! I'm not saying you're orange, but I've seen Cheetos with more natural-looking skin. Do you apply that stuff with a trowel, or is it more of a spray tan that went horribly, tragically wrong? Your tan lines are so distinct, I'm pretty sure they're considered national borders. Next time, maybe try the 'gradual tanner' option? Or, and this is just a wild idea, perhaps embrace the natural glow of someone who hasn't been marinating in a vat of artificial bronzer since the dawn of time. I just hope you're not allergic to the sun, because based on your current hue, you've already reached peak sun capacity for the next decade.